World's Okayest Rapper EP

by Chunjay and CookBook

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1.
yo I'm the number one okayest emcee you know I'm a o k on the m i c put me down in history as sorta in the industry you foul mouth sucker rappers wash your mouth out with listerine or dentyne just to make it more fresh rocking jorts and trucker caps I won't win best dressed but I grab the microphone and snapchat this summer fest feeling moderately blessed I don't have a lot of stress brew coffee in a press and sip it in a mug save the earth and recycle no trippin actin smug rock a stage with my dog and she's only nine pounds ain’t no clock don't act your age rep. that royal ruckus sound throw your hands in the air if you wanna get it movin this show isn't rare at least it's something to be doin you alright? (okay!) world's okayest rapper and my name is Chunjay you might want to watch your girl because I'm really quite alright pretty good at writing raps, and my mom says I’m bright every time I grab a mic it stays exactly the same a big city record deal couldn't get me much fame in the middle of the game but at the front of that pack I'm exactly who I claim, never fronting like I'm black I rap noticeably white like a tube of crest paste like proctor I'm a gamble, dis rappers to their face I don't rap over vocals, I rap over you mic's a magic talking stick? you don't spit you spew okay, well, I'm sorry, I'd rather be polite just wanna have a party an rock the mic tonight I'm doing pretty good with the rap stuff that I write I think it's understood that I try to spread some light I'm using all my might and I'm doing this for you and I'm doing it for me and the free craft brews word up to the breweries, what up to all the beards all the ladies on the journey with that real nice hair I'm the okayest rapper, got my own brat pack looking dapper in my jorts writing rhymes up on my Mac turn a bar into a court when I'm packing in the shows on tour, split the door, so I'm raking in the dough at least we can pretend I'm making all the ends i will rap for bar tabs and make 50 brand new friends I'm the baddest rapper that you ever saw tonight (whispers:) cause I'm the only rapper on the bill tonight love each and every one, you make me a happy camper when I die my epitaph will say the world's okayest rapper
2.
these are the ghosts that remind ya when you made some mistakes and didn't listen (rewind what was I thinking when I even tried) had my first girlfriend i was freshman in high school a senior with a car, {she was fine too} don't really know what happened, just fizzled on out then along came genevive, a cute little sprout we dated two years and then soured on it all started fighting and yelling that cuss was not my call saved ourselves for marriage, but my boy hit it quick {dude was such a dick you don't bang your buddy's chick} even if she is an ex, do ya best to respect never ever would expect all the wackness ahead there was this girl called baby toof who was into punk rock wasn't long before a woof, then she shut down my clock along came pretty girl, she came in with a whirl and launched the ruckus raps, greatest love songs in the world the ghosts of women past, they visit in my dreams I'm glad they didn't last, cause it wasn't what it seemed fast forward a few years kissed many female persons saved myself for marriage I was proud to be a virgin I was a volcano about to explode then this girl with two names made me suddenly unload oops // {man that was retarded} <1>never meant the <2>teaching to be<3>come so disre<4>garded I tried to marry her til she turned me upside down had another dude's kid, gah'me whining with a frown {"sorry sorry don't feed me that line"} I found another girl and things started to be fine we got to know each other, started making all the plans it seemed alright to me I put it in god's hands some heavy stuff went down and I'll spare you all the dirt worst hit I ever felt in my time upon this earth the ghosts of women past they haunt in my dreams I learned a lot from that and from all of the schemes well I moved to Hawaii, sought out sunny days made a little money, hit luaus with those leis I dated a few women but ended up a movin thought a young girl'd mean relationship improvin I wasn't thinking straight, and I moved to Pennsylvania might as well have signed up for blood suckin Transylvania {so it didn't work out?}, I guess you saw that this was coming tried to bless and do best like my name was mister Drummond fell head over heels for this thick thigh chick got friend zoned and then got an album! out of it i made some more mistakes but they've mostly been quick I'm dealing with the shakes rebuilding brick by brick this isn't some schtick, it's the story of my life made a mess of events just tryna find a wife learn something from this story, chill about these things don't be a douche, but don’t rush to put a ring
3.
chunjay: fine before I met you but you wrecked my head met at the bar, loved what you said angels won't tread, didn't care for your friends but I liked your smile so I had to pretend I drank too much, IPAs and such felt a tingle inside when our knees touched sounds kinda silly sayin that out loud pound for pound, want to escape the crowd knew that you were troubled, I felt your struggle offered my heart but gave you stone and rubble doomed from the start, what were we thinkin our ship set sail and we were sinkin... I keep coming back a junky for your face and your eyes are crack fade to black then you text my phone pick you up at six thirty like my heart is home chorus: i was young goin nowhere i was scared but didn't care i felt lost you were there seemed to come from thin air never said it was over it just kinda fell through not a night goes by without wanting to hold you we can have a do over if you'll just take the leap... let's just take the leap... shizaru: i was fine before i met you but you wrecked my head past haunts present like let's replay it again and the answer's always no but my mind's a broken yo-yo and there we are back at the bar sharin a marlboro talkin about that one hey arnold episode and all the places we'd like to someday call home bouncin all over the globe like a drunk rainbow this feeling inside got me all tangled to anyone else it'll sound cliche so do constellations to the big dipper, eh? i used to believe that the stars will align now i flick the sky off and ask the stars if they mind texted you back, "happy hour on the ave?" have our hours been happy since we last laughed? you pulled up right before seven as I pulled back my curtains right there my soul leaped back to its surface you brushed your hair to the side as you tend to do when you're nervous i may have doubted before but now i'm totally certain
4.
this white life I'm feeling kinda white on the mic tonight (night!) tryin to be polite but not too uptight (tight!) so many rhymes I recite about being nice to ladies checking Whole Foods prices on gluten free pastries kombucha, Lara bars, humidor cigars feeling kinda guilty for shopping at Walmart target is my preference, not sure if it is better but I get my cauli rice and that grass fed cheddar hit up the crossfit, do my wod in record time got that squat snatch scored on a white board sign wall balls, kettle bells, specific targeting prosciutto protein, multi-level marketing got friends selling dreams, one message at a time over priced face creams make a pretty little dime white girls named Tiffany fulfill their destiny Chunjay enrolls in two years of therapy I'm rocking the suburbs with rhymes that are absurd I made my rap career on loving what subverts I get my alerts. by a text so I know. I got hundreds of shirts and two different rap flows in the front row, I got a crew of fresh chicks their hoodies have letters of sorority cliques fools in the mix try to dis but they miss // gotta kill em all till their friends reminisce (sample) I buy local and artisanal, you buy from Korea love these non-GMO verified tortillas manic organic party traumatic I eat so many tacos people think that I'm Hispanic I make my own beard oil, you dig your own grave ladies ask to touch my beard, you love to shave I buy chocolate with low sugar and a high cacao percentage my rhymes are both fresh and decidedly vintage I really dig taylor swift, I'm her biggest rap fan> I buy every magazine interview that I can I'm doing whole 30, taking instas of my food> likes and hash tags, organic gets me in the mood vegan dudes for friends, we recruit for trends> paleo is where it's at at least that's what I contend I drink craft beer and have a blue tooth water bottle have surprisingly queer gay friends who model coco water for hydration, coco oil for my cooking Marky Mark, good vibrations, scented candles her undoing don't find it amusing, when I get my colon checked cancer screening is important, if at all you can detect my relationship goals mirror those of Jim & Pam I could be her man, check her out with my Ray Bans down at the grocery, organic shopping spree some jerk got to the redbox right before me! (dang dude, hurry up! // I’m just trying to return a film)
5.
Malcolm Smalls: Verse Chunjay: yo I just got paid it was the first of the month got groceries and some beer and a pack of philly blunts I know what Imma do, imma call ice cube pull some rap stunt with kurupt, maybe get snoop a West Coast scenario it’ll be very dope here we go yo, flows I throw at shows, make ya say whoa multipurposin with friends we made this song you’re hearing so I spent all of my ends Pigeon John Chunjay: from the back to the front put your hands on up if you're white or you're black take a sippa ya cup we all Royal kings up here on this mic this is our decree// thou shalt get hype Shizaru: Put a rabbit in a hat doesn't mean you can do magic, Your future critique? Man we've already trashed it. When our soul's crash, It's anything but tragic. Us vs. time ha you know we'll outlast it. I've been goin ham since I was a lowercase G- Beastie boys n TLC used to sing me to sleep. And all these rappers like, "Holy shit I'm so sick, My flow must've OD'd on some bad Chinese and the way I spit this money game, I swallowed a monopoly piece." I'm like, "yo uh please take a seat, just bc you have an ego and a tongue doesn't mean that this lane is the right one." Time doesn't exist, but only a matter of it until we make it and if your doubts want to debate it, darling, you're just too sedated. Take a seat, the curtain's closing, your soul's about to awaken." Eligh Chunjay: I be Putin on the Ritz like a Russian president this is a highfalutin scientific rap experiment excremental raps dripping off your lips like gravy you kiss your chick with this? she about to be my lady back to the room that serves many purposes raising up a royal ruckus with these ill disturbances streaming services cant fill in what you lack ya songs are discount purchases & you should take em back Chunjay: from the back to the front put your hands on up if you're white or you're black take a sippa ya cup we all Royal kings up here on this mic this is our decree// thou shalt get hype MC RedCloud Kahlee
6.
these are the postcards that I write when I travel on the road the things I think at night when recovering from shows... life's too short not to say I love you and I know been back out on the road, been back out rocking shows been playing all the bars and been spitting all my flows PBR, a shot of vodka, pickle on the side you'd have the loved the crowd last night would have filled you with some pride mom and dad still doing it didn't give up on these dreams lost the vision for a while but the show lights called to me couldn't always see why I loved the hip-hop world but you inspired me to build and turn sand into a pearl I'll never forget how you funded my first project> supported my dream, like money was no object> tried to honor you and God with things that I’ve done just like you taught me, with love from your son I'm having the best time I'm on tour once again I got my dog on the road, I'm seeing lots of friends you'd never believe who I saw the other day it was Katie Chica odele, the girl who got away yeah she's still great, I saw her with her kiddos in Texas at a Starbucks she saw me by the window there's a tinge of some regret but I'm happy how things are can't let these things upset when I'm aiming for the stars I know you're loving on my nieces, wish that I could see em love those kids to pieces tell em I said carpe diem I wish we could be closer but I'm thankful every time let's plan the holidays and be sure that it aligns I'm sorry to be gone, I know I hardly see you but the people got me drawn, I got shows I gotta see through miss your face something fierce, trying to stay faithful cut back on the beers, and my heart is full and grateful your texts and your calls, FaceTime and a snap I love you and I'm thankful you support me doing rap it really means a lot how much you're loving what I'm doing past relationships left my music in ruins but with you I got it all, a lover and a friend you are a true believer and we don't hafto pretend I'm really blown away that you're even in my world love Chunjay, ps, glad you are my girl
7.
I met this little shirt at this fine tinder event she like a fine pearl of Ukrainian descent we went straight into the bar and then started shooting pool I'd be her crown tzar and she could be my jewel ...then there’s this Turkish chick that make me insta-drool ...we flirt online but she live in instanbul there's this Greek girl a sweet girl from down at my church every time she walks her booty by it physically hurts those skirts, little shirts, and the way she seems to flirt programmed a special sound for her message alerts been dumped so many times I can't seem to settle down so now, I got !three girls in !two different towns I love you, and you and you, and you and you (scratch sample: so many females so much inspiration) yeah, met this girl named Samantha in a taco truck she was barely 22, but my heart was struck flirted for a minute, didn't overstay my limit but I got that Snapchat cause hey I'm jamey bennett by the end of the night we were texting and talked on the phone you could complain and moan, but that girl was grown took her to my home, no one to chaperone made salads, drank some wine, ate meat right off the bone it's not what you're thinkin, I almost said screw it my homeboy Silas called and said don't do it been dumped so many times I can't seem to settle down so now, I got four! girls in three! different towns text messaging with chicks three and four at a time copy paste, witty jokes, master of this crime started making lists in an app on my mobile > making notes about these girls cause my flirting is global Kosovo, Russia, got a girl in Uganda Ludmila, Christina, Sophia, and Gorana dosvidanya, sayonara: I dig all a you ladies I'm gonna have to sort this out before we make the babies ain't tryin to play around, I been on the RE-bound illusions of more options, refusing to be ground been dumped so many times I can't seem to settle down so now, i got ten girls in nine different towns yo what up to all the ladies in Bakersfield New York Nashville Phoenix Portland all my honies Moscow Milan London Constantinople cape of good hope ladies, I’m looking your way Honolulu San Juan Rosarito Odessa Toronto can’t forget Boca Raton! What up Boca girls? these insecurities won’t cover themselves

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Royal Ruckus Presents...

Chunjay and CookBook...

World's Okayest Rapper EP

credits

released April 10, 2018

Lyrics and Vocals: Chunjay
Guest Vocals: Pigeon John, Shizaru, Eligh, Malcolm Smalls, Kahlee, MC RedCloud
Music and Vocal Production: CookBook
Turntables: DJ Drastik, DJ Sean P
Mixing, bass guitar: Sam Knaak

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Royal Ruckus Bakersfield

Royal Ruckus is fresh to death. Originally from Bakersfield, California, Flatline and Chunjay are now representing Austin, Texas and South Florida, respectively.

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