1. |
World's Okayest Rapper
03:41
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yo I'm the number one okayest emcee
you know I'm a o k on the m i c
put me down in history as sorta in the industry
you foul mouth sucker rappers wash your mouth out with listerine
or dentyne just to make it more fresh
rocking jorts and trucker caps I won't win best dressed
but I grab the microphone and snapchat this summer fest
feeling moderately blessed I don't have a lot of stress
brew coffee in a press and sip it in a mug
save the earth and recycle no trippin actin smug
rock a stage with my dog and she's only nine pounds
ain’t no clock don't act your age rep. that royal ruckus sound
throw your hands in the air if you wanna get it movin
this show isn't rare at least it's something to be doin
you alright? (okay!)
world's okayest rapper and my name is Chunjay
you might want to watch your girl because I'm really quite alright
pretty good at writing raps, and my mom says I’m bright
every time I grab a mic it stays exactly the same
a big city record deal couldn't get me much fame
in the middle of the game but at the front of that pack
I'm exactly who I claim, never fronting like I'm black
I rap noticeably white like a tube of crest paste
like proctor I'm a gamble, dis rappers to their face
I don't rap over vocals, I rap over you
mic's a magic talking stick? you don't spit you spew
okay, well, I'm sorry, I'd rather be polite
just wanna have a party an rock the mic tonight
I'm doing pretty good with the rap stuff that I write
I think it's understood that I try to spread some light
I'm using all my might and I'm doing this for you
and I'm doing it for me and the free craft brews
word up to the breweries, what up to all the beards
all the ladies on the journey with that real nice hair
I'm the okayest rapper, got my own brat pack
looking dapper in my jorts writing rhymes up on my Mac
turn a bar into a court when I'm packing in the shows
on tour, split the door, so I'm raking in the dough
at least we can pretend I'm making all the ends
i will rap for bar tabs and make 50 brand new friends
I'm the baddest rapper that you ever saw tonight
(whispers:) cause I'm the only rapper on the bill tonight
love each and every one, you make me a happy camper
when I die my epitaph will say the world's okayest rapper
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2. |
The Ghosts of Women Past
03:56
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these are the ghosts that remind ya when
you made some mistakes and didn't listen
(rewind what was I
thinking when I even tried)
had my first girlfriend i was freshman in high school
a senior with a car, {she was fine too}
don't really know what happened, just fizzled on out
then along came genevive, a cute little sprout
we dated two years and then soured on it all
started fighting and yelling that cuss was not my call
saved ourselves for marriage, but my boy hit it quick
{dude was such a dick you don't bang your buddy's chick}
even if she is an ex, do ya best to respect
never ever would expect all the wackness ahead
there was this girl called baby toof who was into punk rock
wasn't long before a woof, then she shut down my clock
along came pretty girl, she came in with a whirl
and launched the ruckus raps, greatest love songs in the world
the ghosts of women past, they visit in my dreams
I'm glad they didn't last, cause it wasn't what it seemed
fast forward a few years kissed many female persons
saved myself for marriage I was proud to be a virgin
I was a volcano about to explode
then this girl with two names made me suddenly unload
oops // {man that was retarded}
<1>never meant the <2>teaching to be<3>come so disre<4>garded
I tried to marry her til she turned me upside down
had another dude's kid, gah'me whining with a frown
{"sorry sorry don't feed me that line"}
I found another girl and things started to be fine
we got to know each other, started making all the plans
it seemed alright to me I put it in god's hands
some heavy stuff went down and I'll spare you all the dirt
worst hit I ever felt in my time upon this earth
the ghosts of women past they haunt in my dreams
I learned a lot from that and from all of the schemes
well I moved to Hawaii, sought out sunny days
made a little money, hit luaus with those leis
I dated a few women but ended up a movin
thought a young girl'd mean relationship improvin
I wasn't thinking straight, and I moved to Pennsylvania
might as well have signed up for blood suckin Transylvania
{so it didn't work out?}, I guess you saw that this was coming
tried to bless and do best like my name was mister Drummond
fell head over heels for this thick thigh chick
got friend zoned and then got an album! out of it
i made some more mistakes but they've mostly been quick
I'm dealing with the shakes rebuilding brick by brick
this isn't some schtick, it's the story of my life
made a mess of events just tryna find a wife
learn something from this story, chill about these things
don't be a douche, but don’t rush to put a ring
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3. |
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chunjay:
fine before I met you but you wrecked my head
met at the bar, loved what you said
angels won't tread, didn't care for your friends
but I liked your smile so I had to pretend
I drank too much, IPAs and such
felt a tingle inside when our knees touched
sounds kinda silly sayin that out loud
pound for pound, want to escape the crowd
knew that you were troubled, I felt your struggle
offered my heart but gave you stone and rubble
doomed from the start, what were we thinkin
our ship set sail and we were sinkin...
I keep coming back
a junky for your face and your eyes are crack
fade to black then you text my phone
pick you up at six thirty like my heart is home
chorus:
i was young goin nowhere
i was scared but didn't care
i felt lost you were there
seemed to come from thin air
never said it was over
it just kinda fell through
not a night goes by without wanting to hold you
we can have a do over if you'll just take the leap...
let's just take the leap...
shizaru:
i was fine before i met you but you wrecked my head
past haunts present like let's replay it again
and the answer's always no but my mind's a broken yo-yo
and there we are back at the bar
sharin a marlboro
talkin about that one hey arnold episode
and all the places we'd like to someday call home
bouncin all over the globe like a drunk rainbow
this feeling inside got me all tangled
to anyone else it'll sound cliche
so do constellations to the big dipper, eh?
i used to believe that the stars will align
now i flick the sky off and ask the stars if they mind
texted you back, "happy hour on the ave?"
have our hours been happy since we last laughed?
you pulled up right before seven as I pulled back my curtains
right there my soul leaped back to its surface
you brushed your hair to the side as you tend to do when you're nervous
i may have doubted before but now i'm totally certain
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4. |
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this white life
I'm feeling kinda white on the mic tonight (night!)
tryin to be polite but not too uptight (tight!)
so many rhymes I recite about being nice to ladies
checking Whole Foods prices on gluten free pastries
kombucha, Lara bars, humidor cigars
feeling kinda guilty for shopping at Walmart
target is my preference, not sure if it is better
but I get my cauli rice and that grass fed cheddar
hit up the crossfit, do my wod in record time
got that squat snatch scored on a white board sign
wall balls, kettle bells, specific targeting
prosciutto protein, multi-level marketing
got friends selling dreams, one message at a time
over priced face creams make a pretty little dime
white girls named Tiffany fulfill their destiny
Chunjay enrolls in two years of therapy
I'm rocking the suburbs with rhymes that are absurd
I made my rap career on loving what subverts
I get my alerts. by a text so I know.
I got hundreds of shirts and two different rap flows
in the front row, I got a crew of fresh chicks
their hoodies have letters of sorority cliques
fools in the mix try to dis but they miss
// gotta kill em all till their friends reminisce (sample)
I buy local and artisanal, you buy from Korea
love these non-GMO verified tortillas
manic organic party traumatic
I eat so many tacos people think that I'm Hispanic
I make my own beard oil, you dig your own grave
ladies ask to touch my beard, you love to shave
I buy chocolate with low sugar and a high cacao percentage
my rhymes are both fresh and decidedly vintage
I really dig taylor swift, I'm her biggest rap fan>
I buy every magazine interview that I can
I'm doing whole 30, taking instas of my food>
likes and hash tags, organic gets me in the mood
vegan dudes for friends, we recruit for trends>
paleo is where it's at at least that's what I contend
I drink craft beer and have a blue tooth water bottle
have surprisingly queer gay friends who model
coco water for hydration, coco oil for my cooking
Marky Mark, good vibrations, scented candles her undoing
don't find it amusing, when I get my colon checked
cancer screening is important, if at all you can detect
my relationship goals mirror those of Jim & Pam
I could be her man, check her out with my Ray Bans
down at the grocery, organic shopping spree
some jerk got to the redbox right before me!
(dang dude, hurry up! // I’m just trying to return a film)
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5. |
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Malcolm Smalls:
Verse
Chunjay:
yo I just got paid it was the first of the month
got groceries and some beer and a pack of philly blunts
I know what Imma do, imma call ice cube
pull some rap stunt with kurupt, maybe get snoop
a West Coast scenario it’ll be very dope
here we go yo, flows I throw at shows, make ya say whoa
multipurposin with friends
we made this song you’re hearing so I spent all of my ends
Pigeon John
Chunjay:
from the back to the front put your hands on up
if you're white or you're black take a sippa ya cup
we all Royal kings up here on this mic
this is our decree// thou shalt get hype
Shizaru:
Put a rabbit in a hat doesn't mean you can do magic,
Your future critique?
Man we've already trashed it.
When our soul's crash,
It's anything but tragic.
Us vs. time ha you know we'll outlast it.
I've been goin ham since I was a lowercase G-
Beastie boys n TLC used to sing me to sleep.
And all these rappers like,
"Holy shit I'm so sick,
My flow must've OD'd on some bad Chinese and the way I spit this money game, I swallowed a monopoly piece."
I'm like, "yo uh please take a seat, just bc you have an ego and a tongue doesn't mean that this lane is the right one."
Time doesn't exist, but only a matter of it until we make it and if your doubts want to debate it, darling, you're just too sedated.
Take a seat, the curtain's closing, your soul's about to awaken."
Eligh
Chunjay:
I be Putin on the Ritz like a Russian president
this is a highfalutin scientific rap experiment
excremental raps dripping off your lips like gravy
you kiss your chick with this? she about to be my lady
back to the room that serves many purposes
raising up a royal ruckus with these ill disturbances
streaming services cant fill in what you lack
ya songs are discount purchases & you should take em back
Chunjay:
from the back to the front put your hands on up
if you're white or you're black take a sippa ya cup
we all Royal kings up here on this mic
this is our decree// thou shalt get hype
MC RedCloud
Kahlee
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6. |
Postcards from the Road
04:17
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these are the postcards that I write when I travel on the road
the things I think at night when recovering from shows...
life's too short not to say I love you and I know
been back out on the road, been back out rocking shows
been playing all the bars and been spitting all my flows
PBR, a shot of vodka, pickle on the side
you'd have the loved the crowd last night would have filled you with some pride
mom and dad still doing it didn't give up on these dreams
lost the vision for a while but the show lights called to me
couldn't always see why I loved the hip-hop world
but you inspired me to build and turn sand into a pearl
I'll never forget how you funded my first project>
supported my dream, like money was no object>
tried to honor you and God with things that I’ve done
just like you taught me, with love from your son
I'm having the best time I'm on tour once again
I got my dog on the road, I'm seeing lots of friends
you'd never believe who I saw the other day
it was Katie Chica odele, the girl who got away
yeah she's still great, I saw her with her kiddos
in Texas at a Starbucks she saw me by the window
there's a tinge of some regret but I'm happy how things are
can't let these things upset when I'm aiming for the stars
I know you're loving on my nieces, wish that I could see em
love those kids to pieces tell em I said carpe diem
I wish we could be closer but I'm thankful every time
let's plan the holidays and be sure that it aligns
I'm sorry to be gone, I know I hardly see you
but the people got me drawn, I got shows I gotta see through
miss your face something fierce, trying to stay faithful
cut back on the beers, and my heart is full and grateful
your texts and your calls, FaceTime and a snap
I love you and I'm thankful you support me doing rap
it really means a lot how much you're loving what I'm doing
past relationships left my music in ruins
but with you I got it all, a lover and a friend
you are a true believer and we don't hafto pretend
I'm really blown away that you're even in my world
love Chunjay, ps, glad you are my girl
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7. |
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I met this little shirt at this fine tinder event
she like a fine pearl of Ukrainian descent
we went straight into the bar and then started shooting pool
I'd be her crown tzar and she could be my jewel
...then there’s this Turkish chick that make me insta-drool
...we flirt online but she live in instanbul
there's this Greek girl a sweet girl from down at my church
every time she walks her booty by it physically hurts
those skirts, little shirts, and the way she seems to flirt
programmed a special sound for her message alerts
been dumped so many times I can't seem to settle down
so now, I got !three girls in !two different towns
I love you, and you and you, and you and you
(scratch sample: so many females so much inspiration)
yeah, met this girl named Samantha in a taco truck
she was barely 22, but my heart was struck
flirted for a minute, didn't overstay my limit
but I got that Snapchat cause hey I'm jamey bennett
by the end of the night we were texting and talked on the phone
you could complain and moan, but that girl was grown
took her to my home, no one to chaperone
made salads, drank some wine, ate meat right off the bone
it's not what you're thinkin, I almost said screw it
my homeboy Silas called and said don't do it
been dumped so many times I can't seem to settle down
so now, I got four! girls in three! different towns
text messaging with chicks three and four at a time
copy paste, witty jokes, master of this crime
started making lists in an app on my mobile >
making notes about these girls cause my flirting is global
Kosovo, Russia, got a girl in Uganda
Ludmila, Christina, Sophia, and Gorana
dosvidanya, sayonara: I dig all a you ladies
I'm gonna have to sort this out before we make the babies
ain't tryin to play around, I been on the RE-bound
illusions of more options, refusing to be ground
been dumped so many times I can't seem to settle down
so now, i got ten girls in nine different towns
yo what up to all the ladies in
Bakersfield
New York
Nashville
Phoenix
Portland
all my honies
Moscow
Milan
London
Constantinople
cape of good hope
ladies, I’m looking your way
Honolulu
San Juan
Rosarito
Odessa
Toronto
can’t forget Boca Raton! What up Boca girls?
these insecurities won’t cover themselves
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Royal Ruckus Bakersfield
Royal Ruckus is fresh to death. Originally from Bakersfield, California, Flatline and Chunjay are now representing Austin, Texas and South Florida, respectively.
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